Facing the “Dog Eat Dog World”

Reflection ~ Careful thought, especially the process of reconsidering previous actions, events, or decision.

Reflection – A powerful word in my life.

I believe, how someone lives their life is in their own hands. You make your world. If you are happy it’s because you take those steps to be happy. If your life sucks; take a look at yourself in the mirror. Circumstances in life can be uncontrolled sometimes. Unfortunate things happen. How you determine moving forward is a choice and the choice you make, builds the path you walk on.

To be thankful and grateful when things are rough is not easy. I’ve considered “what if”. What if I lost everything I have. All those possessions we hold on to. If I lost my home, my job, my belongings and I was facing the “Dog Eat Dog World” – it is only myself I can trust. Myself to look at this world and find strength to stand back up on my own two feet. If I went down, I’m going down fighting. Nobody can take that from me.

Each year, I reflect on my life. What made me happy? Did I have thoughts wishing things were different and what was it I wanted differently? Four years ago, my goal was to find my home and I did. After putting down the foundation, it was time to build. Three years ago, my goal was stability and now, I feel stable. I love my careers and everything that surrounds me. But I was missing friends in the area so two years ago, my goal was to build relationships and find trustworthy friends to surround me. The next year, I felt lonely and I wanted someone to share my life with so I tried dating and completion of that year brings me to where I am now. I am reflecting on this past year and I have found, it’s not a partner I need to find happiness. It’s me. I realized, what I wanted for myself was incomplete. So I stopped dating and now I am focusing on myself and my dreams.

What is the one thing that scares me? What is my fear and am I willing to face it? I am comfortable in MY world. Putting myself out there, opening myself up to other people… is my fear. It’s been a fear so long that it’s defined who I am and it is the last thing holding me back from my dreams. So this year, I am facing my fear. Let me tell you, it’s not easy facing this fear. I am reaching down so deep within me as I try to conquer this. I was frightened but I decided to take that step.

I joined a committee and the first meeting attended, I was very intimidated. However, I forced myself to talk even though I was shaky inside as all eyes at the table were focused on me. I felt so completely vulnerable.  What an awful feeling which led me to the thought, I need to find a way to get over this. I wanted to make impact on the community and myself. I started volunteering which put me in a place to communicate with people unknown to me. That led me to being a mentor to a young girl who is now changing my life. I joined Toastmasters so now I am staring my fear directly in the eye. While speaking in front of people, things happen to your body that you can’t control. Turning red, shaking, being emotional, sweating uncontrollably and not being able to talk clearly because you are so nervous. However, actually doing it is helping me to learn how to adapt. Till I am comfortable speaking publicly, I cannot change how my body reacts when I am scared or nervous however each time I perform, I learn to adapt. Wearing a cool, comfortable, loose professional top and bringing deodorant that day can be the biggest difference in the world. At that point, I’m not focusing on the fact that people can see me sweat. I’m focusing on the next thing I need to adapt to so I can conquer the next and so on. Till one day… I can look back and say to myself. “I did it.”

To put myself out there with my art isn’t easy. Opening yourself up for criticism is hard. If someone has something to say about you and you don’t like it, do you say “screw you” or do you think about what they said to you? Is it true and you just don’t want to see it? Can we be that ignorant and deny ourselves improvement? How will we grow if we can’t accept the reality of how the world views us as individuals? The quote I live by “The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.” ~ Charles Du Bos. This morning, I was criticized when I put myself out there during my continued search trying to find a gallery for my work. I was sooo nervous and didn’t know how to present to him what I needed to correctly and it all came out wrong. I knew that and its part of the learning process. One thing though, he said something to me about my choice of words regarding my art. Honestly, I didn’t realize my stumble as I spoke but he was right. He dug to my core and honestly, it stung a little but this person I don’t know and may never know just changed my life. His advice is now a part of my foundation and path to my future. This is just the beginning of what I’m about to experience and it’s scary. But it’s my life and my dream and I want live it. I have a lot to learn and I’m ready for it.  The experiences I have shared so far are not the only things I am conquering this year.  However now, I'm not just thinking about what I want.  I'm acting on it.  As scary as it may be... I'm walking the path.



It’s a “Dog Eat Dog World” we face. How we deal with it, is up to us. We choose our own path. My choice is to stare it in the face, get past it, grow from it, conquer it… And Live My Dream.